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One thing I like to do during the workday is to print out an article from the NY Times, (any 3page article is usually good), fold it up into my back pocket, and stroll into the back stall for the only true peace and quiet one finds in life. I don’t want to get into the details of my relationship with porcelain and plumbing and how we’re in the 21^st century and still using something called toilet paper (I mean c’mon! Isn’t everyone looking for something new to invent? Here it is! WE NEED A REPLACEMENT FOR TOILET PAPER!)

 

I read pretty random articles. Today I read about how the U.S. is beginning to implement cold-war tactics to fight terrorism. A few weeks ago I read something on how there’s a majority of people in prison with abnormal names (like the song A Boy Named Sue) hence people with uncommon names may be more likely to commit crimes (watch out for Rocketship Tobasco Stallone!). Once I read an article on how all of life is someone else’s hobby (like The Sims).

 

I’ve got a whole stack next to my desk of random articles waiting to be read. And unless I start buying bulk Ex-Lax, I probably won’t get to them all. But here’s some of the titles just to give you a taste:

 

Your Child’s Disorder May Be Yours, Too –This article is about how, say, if your kid’s diagnosed with autism, maybe you have a bit of it too.

 

Flying Humans, Hoping to Land With No Chute – This is about some guy who has this gliding parachuting suit so instead of falling out of a plane, he glides. He eventually wants to be able to glide right to the ground without deploying his chute.

 

The Power of Green –This is an in-depth article from about a year ago on the ramifications of green-thinking. I’ve been unable to finish it despite several attempts (but at least I’m not throwing the paper away).

 

Dark Nights, Sharp Pens –This is an article on graphic novelist Art Spiegelman, who wrote the book Maus (one of my favorites, one of my heroes).

 

Sailing With Few Frills or Inhibitions –This is an article on sailing. I have no connection to sailing whatsoever, but I like the idea of having a tan all the time. I also like the Peter Allen song I Could’ve Been A Sailor about a guy doing whatever it is he does in life, but hey, he could’ve been a sailor and had a completely different life.

 

 

In my next life, I want to have one of these.