I know I was supposed to put this up within 24 hours of the game, but I got special leeway for helping the machine out in other ways. Still, he was right to put a 24 hour stipend on this entry because the Super Bowl seems like old news already. Still, I owe it to him and everyone there for the good time we had. So here it goes.
After the penis was chopped, Bex and I had to make our way over toward the river, where our friends were hosting the game. We were about 40 or 50 miles in the middle of New Jersey, and had borrowed my sisters car to come out there. I’d had an argument with the guy before taking it, because no one had called ahead to let them know we were coming to take the car. Finally though he gave it to after I gave him all my info, and luckily the car had GPS because I had no clue where I was going. The GPS sucked though (I think it was a brand called Garvin or something) and I still made a few wrong turns. I couldn’t remember my sister getting a GPS and wondered why she would get such a crappy one.
Luckily we got to our friends just in time, everyone was showing up simultaneously. Fresh off the bus, like a white gang of yuppies (we probably looked worse in our Volvo SUV). Our friends lived out in Jersey because their place was apparently too big for us to understand. The hallways reminded me of those doctors office complexes they have in the suburbs. There was a lot of room for the stairs and so I was pretty sure the place would be nice.
Sure enough it was. Theres a large guest room when you first walk in and a guest bathroom to the right that’s painted in pink so that a man feels a bit weird in there. The main room was the size of two or three of my apartments and had one of those kitchens with the bar that i love. They have a bunch of contraptions for the kitchen too like single-cup coffee makers and two crock pots and pans for keeping food warm when you’re having a bar mitzvah or a wedding. The walls were nicely painted and the leather couches were very comfy. The whole place was really nice and very homely. My friend’s contribution was kitchen table from his old-old apartment. The place was supped up and decorated for the event all Saints cause this was a Louisiana home.
The game started and the best part is that everyone had room. Even more guests showed up and I don’t think anyone was uncomfortable, though there were two rows of seating. There was tons of food, including a whipped cream, ice cream, cream cheese and cookie contraption that tasted really good and I don’t think was healthy for you. I ate wings and chips with cheese and crackers and cheese and hot dogs and pizza and veggies too. I drank beer out of a mini-kegerator that the teacher (my friend) had to change three times to satisfy us all.
We played boxes at 2 dollars a box and I lost and so did bex, but our other friend wearing an Eagles shirt won. She had the best posture as well by far at the party, so in my eyes, she deserved it just for that. If someone won, the teacher would ‘make it rain’ singles. It was a good time.
They also had a dog. A baby girl dog that really needs to get bigger so that any mice they may come across won’t eat her. Someone else brought their dog and they were like twins except one was lighter than the other. The darker one that was visiting was also a boy. Eventually the boy tried to hump the girls head and we (I) laughed.
And then I called Barney Stinson, but not before I pointed out to everyone that Josef Addai’s name -J. Addai- could be morphed into Jaddai, and then into Jedi. JEDI! This was very strange and no one saw the implications until Jaddai scored a touchdown and my old roommate made a lightsaber noise. Ahh, everyone said, and soon the value was obvious. He would always be a Jaddai to me.
Before the end of the game, rock stars even showed up!
But soon it was time to leave. I was willing to take everyone since I knew I had the car, and they had taken the bus, but we had a baby seat in the back and no one was sure who could fit. They decided to all go down together (except two) instead of trying to all shove in and it was probably for the best in the end, because when we got to the car there was a playpen in the trunk and really no room at all. I didn’t even remember this stuff was there, let alone my sister having a playpen.
We dropped our friends of and put the car in the garage by 10:30. A big black guy asked me who gave me the car, but I assured him my brother-in-law was okay with it. I began to walk away and he and another guy were talking and then he called back to me and he kept asking and so I said I could call my brother-in-law and he said ‘No need brotha, I’m wondering because that ain’t yo car!’. I said, ‘what?’. He said ‘That ain’t yo car!’ I said sure it is, it’s got baby seat and all in the back, and he said he knows, and that someone else in the building has a car just like the other one.
This isn’t car 121?
NO!
I should have known because there was only one baby seat in the back, but my sister has two kids. And I knew they didn’t have GPS but what the hell did I care. The guy told me not to worry cause it was their fault. I was more pissed because I’d filled up the tank.
So there you have it. Super bowl sunday was a success. The penis was chopped. The Saints won. And I pulled a Ferris Bueller.
February 12, 2010 at 3:55 pm |
ABZME smells like aftershave and taco meat.
February 16, 2010 at 10:03 am |
It was all for one and one for all on the bus to and from Edgewater. Karma will come back to haunt Jeff and Kim.