I’m Not Shoeless! You’re Shoeless!

Check this link out. there’s a hilarious situation in New Mexico where a Liquor Store owner/worker/drunk, whatever. Anyway, people kept stealing from the store even when the cops would come and arrest them, so this guy, Gabe Fidanqe, (aka Fred Durst) said ‘Fuck You Cops – your brand of justice just does not work!’ and so Gabe just started stealing these theives shoes! Haha. If he caught them stealing he’d let them choose between the cops coming or loosing a shoe (left only). Apparently the shit works because everyone’s too embarrassed to return to where they got caught and had a shoe taken from them. Oh New Mexico -Soon they’ll be taking ten paces, turning, and shooting. Shoeting? Hmmmm…

In other news, I got an MRI yesterday for my headaches. Besides spending an entire afternoon there after the place called me, told me to come in early (at 1:30) only for me to show up and then be told I missed the early appointment, but that I can stay for another, only to have them say that one fell through, only to wait til my original appointment at 4:45. Dumb fucks. Very nice people though.

Ever get an MRI? You sit on a cold bed, then they wheel you into a coffin that was built to bury beige computers from the mid-nineties, then they start studying the affects of the music from Space Invaders on the human brain. I don’t know how or why (I ask the technician who said the sound is radiation waves bouncing off other radiation waves (what?)), but if it will tell me that there’s a crayon in my nose causing headaches, then I’m game.

Shout out to Bex who sat with me in the waiting room. She’s reading a book called ‘Women‘ by Charles Bukowski. It’s about eating pussy I think.

And finally, I bet you’re not wondering about the title of this post. Well, it’s from one of my most favorite moments in South Park -a show I never watch- but this is just great. Towelie -the talking towel that likes to get high is working at PF Changs…

http://www.mediazine.net/view/south_park_towelie_pf_changs

[url]http://www.mediazine.net/view/south_park_towelie_pf_changs[/url]

Just Like In Fake Life

Came across this story this morning while avoiding work.  Does anyone else find this to be pretty wild?  I think it’s one of the secret reasons I live in this town.  It’s like James Woods character in The Hard Way.

So this cop from Astoria is talking to his case / love interest while off duty at her work in Chinatown.  She’s been getting abused at home and he’s trying to give her some new options.  Then these two guys bust in and try to rob the place!  They wrestle with the cop while they’re beating up the girl.  Remember, he’s off duty (or wearing his secret identity).  He breaks free and runs out, so now they’re cutting up the girl, when suddenly the cop busts in again, and shoots down one of the guys!  He saves the day!  He automatically gets laid that night!  How fascinating this all plays out in my head!

Here’s the link:

Goin’ Back To Indiana

They don’t make movies like they used to.

And yet, they don’t make movies like this anymore.

Over the long weekend Ms. Starr and I got a chance to take in a late movie and checked out the new Indiana Jones. I was pretty psyched to see it since I love the series, love Spielberg doing the stuff he does best, and love actually wanting to see a movie I’m paying 12 bucks for (for a while, it’s been pretty tough to get excited about throwing down 20+ dollars just to watch television in a glorified living room).

So is it good? Yeah. It’s fun, entertaining, Harrison Ford is still awesome as Dr. Jones and his alter ego, and surprisingly, Shia LeBouf is pretty cool to watch as well. Be warned, there’s alot of crap I rolled my eyes at (much more than the previous ones), so much obvious stuff, so much I thought Jeez, make this more believable, but I never wanted to leave the theater and walk out (I almost sorta felt like a kid watching a classic movie star doing his classic movie star stunts up there). It’s Hollywood stuff. And let me say for the record, there’s alot of bogus shit in this flick, a lotta flashy lights and computers, but forget all that because when Harrison Ford’s jumpin’ on crates and swinging on that whip, you’ll be more impressed than all that other stuff ’cause I know it hurts me to walk up two flights of stairs these days and heartburn basically makes catching my breath seem impossible. (Gosh, I hope I can get in shape one of these days.)

Killing Russians isn’t as fun as killing Nazis. It’s jut not. Especially when Cate Blanchett is their leader (though she’s good as well). I also liked the sexual innuendo that were in the earlier movies and that wasn’t here. This is a much more PG version of Indiana Jones and I would have liked to’ve seen more grit, more R rated stuff (blood, torture, etc). A darker side of things. One thing Spielberg was good at was making you believe that, wow, Indiana just got his book signed by Adolf Hitler! And he’s still good at that (this wouldn’t have done as well under a different director), but not great at it in this. Although, maybe I’m just older now too, but I don’t think so.

Although you can do more with Computer Graphics, they are just not the same as smoke and mirrors. No one in Hollywood seems to learn this no matter how many movies suffer from it. I’m telling you, watching Harrison Ford jump on those crates is more astounding than watching faux fire ants attack some Russian guy. I feel like these stupid computer graphic obsessions are pretty much good for one movie and one movie only -Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas. (And speaking of which, how Indiana spends half the movie in the Amazon and doesn’t eat some psychedelic is surprising -look, I just wrote the next Indie film.)

Still, the important elements outweigh the heavy dose of disbelief we need to swallow for this flick -the humor is good, the acting holds up (no miscast Angelina here), the history is there too -though you’ll never beat religious ghosts with Incas and Mayans.

One more note…At some point I thought to myself, when did this become The Goonies? Then I thought when did this become Ducktales? But in the end it doesn’t matter because both The Goonies and Ducktales are awesome while still being for kids, and this movie and the series is still pretty cool. It’s still cool to make archeology and history and learning seem like so much fun. It’s still cool that the film takes place at a time when so much history was going on and you were allowed to carry a whip without being called kinky. And it’s still cool to go to the movies and feel like a kid.

So here’s my advice. If you like Indiana Jones, go see this movie. Suspend your disbelief as much as you can, and try to enjoy the fact that this isn’t 6 Days, 7 Nights.

Notes and Such:

-Once again, Lucas screws up another masterpiece by making it kitschy. It seems this flick was in development since ‘89 (when the previous flick came out) ’cause Spielberg and Ford disagreed with the Crystal Skull as a plot device.

-Ford, who’s 64 spent 3 hours a day in the gym and ate alotta protein like fish. Alotta veggies too.

-Connery was asked originally to be in the film, but turned it down since he likes retirement too much -is that true? Is Connery retired? Do actors retire?

-Starr likes bad pizza. She ate a slice with bacon, tomato, and garlic, which was probably the second worst choice of her life. Me being the first.

Orientals or Asians…You Decide

A friend of mine at work today told me about how she was in a meeting and some guy referred to her as Oriental. Haha. Well doesn’t that bring me back to my youth! Personally I miss the term Oriental, but only because it reminds me of the Chinese food we used to eat as kids at Fortune Garden. Anyway this term is offensive now because it was waaaaaay too broad and really not PC. I thought everyone got the message but apparently not. My friend Amy Lay lays it down for us in this email….

You can not believe what happened today. I was in Sam’s office doing training for this new program to review selling.

Anyway, You would think in today’s society everyone is very PC and knows to not refer Asians as ORIENTALS. It is 2008 after all!!!!

So during my training session this afternoon with a room with 4 men and myself (not only was I the only female but “asian”), the word “Oriental” was used to refer to Asians.

Because we were talking about things “coats” being packable, this man starts saying… ”Only “ORIENTALS” know how to use things that are packable because they are so small.”…. Are you kidding me???? Was he for real????

He then goes on about things from Japan are put in small little packages and once you open them, you can never put it back the way you bought them.

Being the Asian in the room, I was beyond speechless and had to look away. The funny thing is that this isn’t the first time I have heard this.

A couple of years back, working in the showroom with a buyer, he was happy to work with me because I was always available. I took it as a compliment. But then he starts to say that being in the garment industry; you can never get a hold of anyone after 5pm and on Fridays after noon. But those Orientals are always working 24/7. Then looks at me…. Again… I was speechless.

Who really thinks its OK to refer to a major population of this continent as Orientals. Ugh… !

Hahaha. My first question to her was if these guys were Jewish. My second was whether they were dumb (yes to both). Us Jews always generalize and stereotype for persecution purposes. (we need to know who we can trust in a hurry) Especially the old ones. The thing is, they never mean any intentional harm by it. Schvarz, Kooshie, Goyish, etc. they’re just Jewish words for everyone else, but they’re not derogatory per se because the Jews think it’s just another term for a non-Jew.

Here’s a link for a really good article that breaks down how all this started.

And as for Amy, don’t worry honey. It’s a compliment. This guy obviously felt so comfortable with you that he didn’t see you in terms of race or color. To him you were just a fellow American. Well done.

Monkeys, Chickens, and Herbs

I watched Raiders Of The Lost Ark last night -A shitty, Chinese bootleg copy that I threw out this morning. That movie still has one of the best endings ever. It got me thinking about whether to go see the new flick, Indiana Jones and the Curse of the Crystal Skull (I’m skeptical of the Crystal Skull part –A gold monkey maybe, but a Crystal Skull? Who would believe that?)

So far the reviews have been pro and con. Some say it’s good to see Indiana back in action, and that the humor is there that made the first three so much fun. While others say the film shouldn’t have been made. As long as people say it’s not terrible, then I’ll probably go see it. I don’t understand how it could be so bad if it’s Steven Spielberg directing. He’s like the pizza of directors! Seriously though, the guy is pretty much a genius when it comes to making entertaining films for America. I don’t think he can make an absolutely terrible movie. Some may be less enjoyable than others, but they’re never completely unwatchable.

It’s just great that he fights the Nazis in all these movies. I didn’t see the Temple of doom, but I’m sure that it was missing the Nazis. Nothing is better than watching a guy in a cowboy hat and a whip, clad in leather, spanking those stupid Nazis. Who’s your daddy? INDIANA!!!

We cooked last night as well, making chicken over rice with some beans on the side. Pretty easy to make and really delicious (just remember to mix the rice or it may stick to the bottom of the pot). We threw garlic and onion into some olive oil for the chicken and it added some really good flavors. Jeff basically took over after the first ten minutes and it really came together nicely. The brown rice we made was Near East brand and was great with the beans on the side (black beans, but no gas today). Basically we had to have the chicken because it was defrosted and I asked a few people at work the best way to defrost and they said definitely either in the fridge, or leaving it out, but try to stay away from the microwave because it can cook it alittle or it may defrost it unevenly etc. One other thing you can do is soak the chicken in a bag in some cold water, but this won’t defrost it –it’ll just sorta speed the process up.

I also started an herb garden at work today. It’s not much (I just put the florescent light up) and it’ll take a little time, but so far everything is going as planned. It’s under my desk and I’ve only got one Sweet Basil plant, but I hope to get lots more. There are two pictures I will insert later. I will keep you guys updated with it’s progress.

…But Where’s The Bathroom?

It’s a slow day here at work. That and I don’t feel like doing it -work, that is. I tried sleeping on my feet for a few minutes after I washed my hands in the bathroom, but I couldn’t do it. My right eye just drooped and I lurched back and forth, but no sleep.

My browser here at work still doesn’t allow me to insert pics into posts, links, or other fun stuff, so the link below will have to be cut and pasted. Its worth it if for nothing else, proof that we still live in strange times.

http://www.dinnerinthesky.com/

I Am Iron Man

I can’t get over how good Iron Man was.

Really?  I’ve been hearing that a lot lately.  Is it really true? YES!  The movie is actually good!  It’s a great balance of big budget spectacle, interesting characters, good humor (not ice cream) and a steady pace.  I’m serious.  Jon Favereau, has proven himself knowledgeable of the movie-goer more than any other big-budget director in recent memory.  He really just got this formula right.  Rather than Michael Bay’s overproduced sillyness (pick any movie).  And Sam Raimi’s overbloated, too long, lost-his-way-ness in Spider-Man 3.  Iron Man has an Ocean’s 11 easiness and cool factor, but imagine Danny Ocean had super powers.  Okay, so you got a director that can see how the film should work with the audience, so what’s the next best part?  The cast.

First off, Robert Downey Jr. is fantastic as a genius playboy billionaire weapons manufacturer, heir to the throne of Stark Industries Tony Stark (so believable, only a coke-head such as Downey can have you jumping around the screen so fast you don’t care if it’s believable).  Tony Stark is basically Marvel’s answer to Bruce Wayne (Batman).  Jeff Bridges turn as friend and 2^nd-in-command at Stark Industries is also fantastic since you always want to like him, but aren’t sure quite why (maybe it’s the beard).  Gwyneth Paltrow is surprisingly much better than most of her love-interest counterparts, mostly because she seems attractive yet unattractive enough to be smart enough to garner the interest of our hero.  In other words, her intelligence makes up for her lack of super hotness (and she’s way better than Katie Holmes (who seemed like a stupid little girl in the batman flick), and even Kirsten Dunst (who I never thought was hot enough to play Mary Jane (though I like her in a hey, I’m a cool chic sorta way)).

The film doesn’t feel heavy, like Spider Man is trying –and failing-to do lately.  It wasn’t too long or too short,  It wasn’t overhyped and now I bet the box-office gross will only continue to grow as the word of mouth spreads.  It was flashy and entertaining and had a fantastic cast that most importantly was cast nearly perfectly!  You really can see how important this is too, not only to these comic book adaptations, but for all movies.  (Jeff and I just watched The Good Shepherd the other day and Angelina Jolie seems so outta place in that role as a good housewife in the 1950s –She’s much more believable as Gia)

Originally I thought the Iron Man flick sounded like it would be the worst of any of these comic book adaptations, sure enough, it’s turned out to be one of the very best.

Notes and comments

-Iron Man’s personal story was partly based upon Howard Hughes – the quintessential industrial millionaire playboy of the 20^th Century.

-Jeff Bridge’s character’s name in the film is Obadiah.  Obadiah is a funny name.  It comes from the bible –he was a rich prophet.

-Imagine Iron was spelled with an ‘A’ instead of an ‘O’.  He’d be a much less celebrated superhero.

-In the end, this is probably still just a guy flick, so be smart on a double date and go see

WordPress Troubles

Maybe it’s me, or maybe it’s that I’m at work, but sometimes posting with WordPress isn’t as easy as it looks. It was pretty easy at the beginning. Like most computer programs everything was pretty straightforward -there’s the box you type in, there’s the picture you click when you want a picture in your entry. But here I am today and the fuckin’ picture isn’t there. Now I don’t know how to add links or pictures to this entry and it’s fucking annoying stupid shit that NOTHING WORKS LIKE IT’S SUPPOSED TO!

Work has me a bit stressed. Computers suck. I’m getting really close to buying a Mac and I don’t know which one (Pro vs. Air). I sit all day and drool over that stupid iphone (3G SOON!!!!!) and I’m thinking to myself -do your fucking work, man. Stop opening six tabs about apple products (right now I have 9 open (yeah, 9 freaking tabs)).

My head hurts. 5 days in a row and it seems I’ve gotten allergies for the first time in my life this season. Go figure. Never had ‘em before, but they suck. Just another reason not to go outside. I’m taking Benadryl at night.

Enough non-sensical venting. Maybe wordpress will work from home, from my unflattering laptop. If my laptop were a person, it would be the child of four that I’m least proud of.