The Darjeeling Limited

 

I needed a costume for Halloween. I didn’t want to think too much about it and narrowed it down to Magnum PI, and Owen Wilson’s character in The Darjeeling Limited (see above). Neither one should be too hard to pull off and I figured they were both clever enough. I was leaning toward Darjeeling because you get to wear a suit and it was what my friend referred to as ‘topical’. while with Magnum I’d just look like a guy dressed for a hot day (but I would get to wear a mustache). I doubt anybody would recognize me in either of these costumes anyway (I’ve heard men, in general, have a tendency to over think their costumes, while women just use it as an excuse to dress like sluts (which I bet just leads us men to overthink everything)). The one problem was that I hadn’t seen the new movie. So Friday night, in the rain, I did what most guys without a girlfriend do. I went to the movies.

The Darjeeling Limited is the new film by Wes Anderson (Bottle Rocket, The Royal Tenenbaum’s). Its got a bunch of people you’d recognize (including Owen Wilson) and it’s 100% got the directors stamp on it, so you should know right away if you’ll enjoy it if you like Anderson’s work. I’ve also heard mixed reviews of this film, mostly good, not terrible, better than The Life Aquatic, beautiful to look at, but not great. Maybe it’s because I was all alone watching it, but I thought it was very good.

Basically it’s about three brothers that go to India on a so-called spiritual quest a year after their father dies. They are a bit disconnected with each other and their interactions are funny and engaging to watch. They don’t trust one another at all and at the same time there’s no one they trust more. This is a great dynamic to watch, as anyone whose got siblings should know that feeling of loving someone unconditionally yet not understanding at all some of the choices they make. (I, for one, was able to relate more to this premise than, say, The Royal Tenenbaum’s, and the prodigy children and overbearing father.)

The film looks great, a la Wes Anderson’s style (and you completely feel his presence in this film) and this alone will keep you watching. He’s got a talent for making the obvious/mundane interesting. One drawback to this style is you never know when the film’s gonna end. Because it feels so artsy, you think he can cut it off at any time (bit nerve racking). Of course you’ll want to go to India after you see it, and all three characters smoke in the film, which I shamelessly love to see.

Some interesting points:

-The soundtrack is a mix of lyric-driven songs that you’ll dislike immediately for their pretentiousness, but will have stuck in your head by the end of the film.

-The train is an actual line in India that you can (and maybe should) take. It’s one of the few steam train engines still operating in India (and probably the world).

-I flew Air India once and those train cars took me back. They really decorate shit like that as the plane walls had funny designs and flowers all over them. Nauseating at first, but endearing as time passes.

-Remember, this is a character driven film. Common in Anderson’s work, but more often uncommon in Hollywood flicks (see Nicholas Cage). While the plot may not be alien robots that turn into cars and bugs, you should care more about the characters you’re watching and as a result, the film will stay with you for some time after and that’s not an easy feat for directors (kudos Wes).

-Here is a link to the Magnum PI theme song -perhaps one of the best theme songs in the history of television. We should make a list though. Anybody have any thoughts on what the best theme songs in history are?

-No one knew who I was at the costume party. Topical, but not a topic anyone seems to be talking about. There was one guy I saw that knew who I was (but he had the same costume).

Apple Picking

On the very same note left for me with the Pile of 8, was another one-word message scribbled into the corner that made me laugh…”APPLES!”

On that morning I went apple-picking with my family -that is, my mom, sisters and their husbands, my niece and nephew, and their nannies (the nannies are sisters too) and their family (one brought her husband and daughter, the other isn’t married). We’d done this the previous year, and despite it being 80 degrees outside, we did it again this year, making it sort of a Fall tradition.

If you haven’t been apple picking in a while, go right away! It’s alotta fun, especially with little kids or with family. This can be surprising, since it sounds like a cheesy activity, but you’ll be pleasantly surprised. I was surprised at how much fun I had again this year even after I remembered it being a good time a year ago.

We headed up to Davies Farm on Rt. 304 in Congers, NY. It was pretty packed, but still manageable and they run a good operation. The farmhouse is really pretty and the whole scene is picturesque, so bring a camera. In the backdrop is the water (Rockland County reservoir) and matched with the rolling hills and the nice fall weather, it’s really hard to beat this slice of Americana. I guess I’m just a sucker for this stuff.

Be sure to get an apple picking pole (a what?!) while you’re there cause the best apples will be out of your reach. You’ll be spoiled and won’t want to eat the apples off the ground even though this is probably what we’re eating all year round. The apples are so damn delicious that you’ll tell yourself that you’re gonna start eating healthier. My favorite part is eating apple after apple while picking and then throwing them into the woods, finished or not -theres so many!

Some interesting notes…

-Apple trees are not attractive trees.

-A bag costs $24 bucks and you fill it as much as you can. We stuff extra apples in our pockets and in the baby carriage, but they’re not dumb there and they’ve seen it all before (damn city-slickers), so just be humble cause you’re not outsmarting them.

-Though this isn’t gawker, there was, not one, but two minor celebrity sightings that day: Max Casella aka Vinnie Delpino from Doogie Howser (and The Sopranos (the former being the more superior)), and Cynthia Nixon aka Miranda from Sex and the City.

-We ate dinner at Ricks Club American just around the corner from the farm. This place is very good and their ribs are great so stop by there if you can. (This is a good alternative to McDonalds as well)

-”APPLES” was the note left for me by my roommate, a lover of apples and one witty son of a bitch.

Pile of 8 (1/8): The Cave Singers

I received a pile of cd’s the other day from a friend of mine -a pile of 8- with a pleading note asking me not to hate on these here at the blog, and since no one is friending me on myspace today (except for Alisha, Sophie, and Gwen, all hot, all the same girl), and since CMJ isn’t showcasing these kids, I’ve decided to review all the cds, one at a time, in due time. Lets begin…

I picked The Cave Singers out of the pile because the nice retro-cover caught my eye, and it wasn’t until 12 hours later that I realized the artwork reminded me of an anonymous John Denver album. The band name was quirky enough as well, which I liked, but then, what band doesn’t have a quirky name these days (have you seen the CMJ lineup? (Please read a few of those names, you’ll laugh and/or wonder where American ingenuity is going)).

The album’s called Invitation Songs (their first), and the first song, ‘Seeds Of Night’ is a single off the album and a creative, easy sounding tune. One of my first impressions was that this guy almost sounds like Adam Sandler singing on his first album (specifically, ‘The Thanksgiving Song’ (do you remember that ‘b’wak, b’wak, b’wak b’waaaak’ part?))  Despite this distraction, the song is good. The light guitars by Derek Fudesco are nice, and toe-tapping. He’s obviously talented and you can almost close your eyes and see his hand dancing along the guitar neck. This alone might make me want to see these guys live. Apparently Fudesco was in the indie band Pretty Girls Make Graves (who sound like they rock (and, of course, I get to them too late as they broke up in January)).

One thing that caught my attention was the percussions by Marty Lund. They were interesting. I always like to see how drums are used in light sounding music since with rock, you just need to bang the shit out of them, but with this stuff you need to be more subtle. I liked that aspect of the album. You can hear it on ‘Dancing On Our Graves’, along with ‘New Monuments’, another good track.

Pete Quirks voice is interesting, but I couldn’t place it. By the 4th song, I realized he sounded like this other guy Deer Tick (who I’m biased toward since he likes my friends band) but who also has a more bluesy sort of way about his vocals. Maybe it’s an emotional thing or maybe I’m just wrong. I never wanted Quirk to stop singing, but I’m not eagerly waiting for him to start either. (Maybe Deer Tick sounds tougher? Who knows.)

The Cave Singers are good. They’re definitely not great, at least as far as this album tells me, (I’m more interested in PGMG) but from what I can see from the pictures of the band and such, they look like they’re having a great time doing this, and maybe that makes all the difference.

Here’s their myspace page: www.myspace.com/thecavesingers

Here’s their blog page, which is really just pictures of them enjoying life, and seems to resonate just as much.

But more importantly, I ask again, did you read at least a few of the band names on the CMJ lineup? They’re really funny!

Summerteeth

My teeth hurt. I’m worrying that I might be grinding my teeth at night. I’m concerned cause every morning I feel like my mouth (besides having that 8 hour-caked-over-moss feeling) has been closed tight and even that, I’ve been sucking in with my mouth closed (like what you do when you tense up). At least I think that’s what I’ve been doing. I don’t know for certain and at the moment, I’m not sleeping with anyone so I have no spies in bed for me. (The last girl told me in the morning that I grind my teeth.) So I’ve written down a potential list of bedmates, that might be able to help keep an eye/ear out for this problem I’m having. Note that it’s not very long as I, well…it’s just not.

In no specific order…

-I met the most boring girl at my birthday party, and while with a little work she might go to bed with me, I just couldn’t bring myself to call (yet). Is two weeks too long to wait? Maybe not for this girl. She was boring! Like a snail doing stunts or math class. Not my first choice by a long shot.

-My friends ex-coworker: I met her over a year ago, but I saw her the other day on MacDougal St., and she was into me then and I bet she was still into me…despite her going to meet a guy for a date and me holding not one, but two falafel in my hand. Still, I think the falafel’s the better deal. Could I eat the falafel and then take her home?

-Working girls (ie: Hunts Point, BX): But I doubt they’d stay long enough to let me know about my teeth…(besides, who knows what their teeth look like?)

If this doesn’t work, I may have to end up wearing a teeth-grinding mouthguard. (I think that’s what athletes wear when they’re actually playing, not sleeping .) How awful is this?

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

In the spirit of Columbus Day, (despite the fact that I’m a day late).

One of the best parts of the Yankees in the playoffs is Ronan Tynan (pictured above). Batting 10th in the lineup and only in the 7th inning (nice, huh), he delivers, everytime, a really great rendition of ‘God Bless America‘ (by Irving Berlin (jewish (just sayin’))). I’m constantly singing this operatic version throughout the season and year (as my roommate should contest) in my best imitation of Ronan’s ‘Hey, I’m funny looking and doesn’t that make my voice all the more amazing’ style. He also does this two or three line version at the beginning that really sets the stage as well, and you never hear it in any other versions (at least I haven’t) where they talk about the war overseas and how that threat to freedom really makes us appreciate how good we have it here in America, which is what the song really is about. It’s not religious, it’s not pretentious. It’s just ‘Look how bad it is over there! And look (and remember) how good we have it here! And lets all hope that we can all have a little luck to shine down on us all, cause, well, who can’t use a little luck?’ That’s it! What a great song!

I also love that Yankee Stadium is the only(?) ballpark to play this during the 7th inning stretch (for obvious reasons), though during the season, we have to listen to Kate Smith’s now old, decrepit, phonographic version playing from a recording that’s from between the two world wars (it sounds so old!) And though Kate Smith is amazing in her own rite (see link), you’re telling me we can’t give an opportunity to two young go-getter kids willing to volunteer to sing this from time to time during the season?

Bottom line is that Ronan’s version is great (heres another good link) and it really makes for a great moment in any playoff game played in Yankee Stadium.

God Bless, America. My home…

(Oh yeah, Yanks got ousted from the playoffs on Monday. See you next year.)

Feedback/U-Haul ass and wait…

I’ve added a new feature to abzme.com! It’s called ‘Feedback’ and it’s to your right. It’s based on a website idea I had a while back, where you have one stop you can go to every time you want to give the big corporations and crap in our lives a little piece of your mind so you can get some peace of mind. Try it, for better or for worse. Everything on that list will take you right to a feedback page of the said topic, or the next best thing. I’ve started it out with two things I had to get off my chest. One is the U-Haul story below, and the other is a link to The TODAY Show where I vented about the stupid ‘experts’ they have on that show from time to time, such as Danny Deusche (Media Expert probably or Expert of Being a Fat Egoed Ass), and Barbara Corcoran (Expert of How To Make Manhattan Unaffordable and Boring (check out that link)). I used to hate Nancy Snyderman, but these other two suck so much more! Especially Donnie Deuschebag. (That guy rubs me the wrong way. (Hey now!)) Hope you enjoy it!

On Sunday, I rented a U-Haul. A great, big 10 foot cube truck with a slide-up door that latches shut, and a beeping noise when you’re backing up. You gotta step way up to get inside, and you listen to AM radio in the hatch and drink coffee. Very cool, just like a real trucker. All this power, all this machinery and all I needed it for was to move a 1998 Sony Trinitron tube tv that my sister was giving me downtown to my apartment (see picture above). I took it because it had HD.

The worst part of renting the U-Haul was waiting on line to get the truck. They had people returning and picking up on the same line! That’s like using your mouth to eat and to shit simultaneously. Then they had this kid, Justin, working the counter and he hated me right off the bat and hated being there. He yelled at me for not waiting to be called to the counter and instead just walking up (c’mon, seriously?!), then he told me that there wasn’t any vans for me, even though I reserved one (yes, like the Seinfeld episode, this kid sucked). Then he told me to go out and get the 10′ truck and run him over repeatedly to end his shitty existence. Nah, just joking, but that’s what I was thinking.

I also added a link to the Copyranter blog to your left because her rant on Donnie Deuschebag was apropos. I like the comments too. Can we get comments like that?

UPDATE: Copyranter is a guy (not a girl).  It is also to your right.

Cheap Shots, and Beer, and Air Hockey, and…

This is gonna seem a little outta order because I’m not writing as frequently as things are happening, and sure enough, things happen all the time. But don’t worry…I’ve given up my gym membership for the month, so now I’ll have loads of free time (Sorry girls -please try to love me for my brain instead.)

After last week, when I must’ve tried to blow myself by stretching out my birthday over six days (absurd, despite it being a helluva lot of fun! Who did I think I was?), I had a chance to reflect on my favorite part -Cheap Shots.

After looking through the window of four separate bars on Tuesday, my friends and I ended up here only because it couldn’t get any worse. But we needed a drink and we followed a sign for $8 Yuengling (is that spelled right?). Lo and behold, the lord created Cheap Shots… Where Rolling Rock cans (not PBR) sell for 2 bucks! Where on Tuesday night, you can play the bartenders in Rock-Paper-Scissor to get half off your 2 dollar drink! (Tip: always be rock.) Where Yuengling is 8 bucks a pitcher! And more fun, where the birthday kids drink free! (Awesome!) They’ve also got Air Hockey, Buck Hunter, Darts, tv, and girls! This place is like what underage kids would do if they opened a bar! This is like when you went to your friends place when you were a kid and the basement had all those awesome toys in it, but now it has beer also. It was great!

But the best part about a place that lets you drink free on your birthday is that you get to meet everyone else who shares that same day. You get to drink with ‘anonymous girl A’, and her friend whose birthday was the day before. You get to drink with ‘anonymous guy b’ also at the bar, whose friend keeps screaming in his ear ‘happy birthday’! If you’re not the jealous type, sharing your birthday is pretty awesome!

We ended up wasted, playing flip-cup with a bunch of college/post college kids (jeez). Jeff beat me in air hockey, and I got the number of a cute girl whose friend easily weighed 250 lbs. It was an awesome night.

Wednesday was rough though.  In case you were wondering, I didn’t get a call back from the cute girl despite belonging to a gym. I would have gone for the third girl, but she was eaten by the fat one.